Been a long time getting back to the blog and must do better otherwise will loose my readership, Simon ? All been incredibly busy with the arrival of Sir John Bushby and the Canadian Gavin who both enjoyed a 10 day mountain biking trip. Highlights including Gavin managing to master the Malayalam word for blood "rectum"; of which his legs and arms seemed to provide an endless supply; much to the concern of the locals; and Sir John Bushby breaking down linguistical and national boundaries when coming to terms with an unrelenting verbal assault from a 70 year old, Shakespeare quoting, psychotic, ex Indian railway-ticket inspector with a "very pleased to meet you sir".
Moved to the beach for Christmas and the sands of Varkalla to join the rest of the fisherman pant wearing, banana pancake munching yoga obsessed Christmas crowd. Christmas day on the beach witnessed apartheid back in fashion with a big rope splitting the beach in half guarded by a few policemen stopping the Indian crowds from mixing with the Europeans. Enraged at this I carry the beach towel to the native side of the rope hoping to encourage the pulling down of these racist barriers that divide nations and minds. My high mindedness creates a stir as I am surrounded by the Indian crowds puzzled by my revolutionary actions, they happily point to the other side of the rope as a bit of sand more suited to the tourist. I stay my ground before heading for a swim ripping my shorts in the surf.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Bottom Brackets And The Forces of Evil.
I have moved back to the spiritual home of mountain biking in Kerala the XXX Hotel in K#$@!! a 130km and 4 hour drive away from Munnar unless the drive shaft falls off half way and needs 9 men to fasten it back together again.
Here things seem to be in the balance as well as my hotel appears to changed ownership in recent days. My friend and hotelier Mr %$#!* has been usurped by his business partner the evil Mr S%#@$ who apparently has a string of convictions going back years and across seas including a spell in Saudi Arabia's worst prison for making illicit alchohol.
Staff at the XXX Hotel are also suffering, with a a watchfull eye kept over all the workers. Things look intolerable with things coming to head at morning coffee time. The usual charade of black coffee arriving in the form of milk tea, sugar added indiscriminately where non was asked for, orders being forgotten or arriving unprompted has been replaced by a chilling efficiency. However, thankfully, this morning a pot of indeterminable tea/coffee arrived suggesting, perhaps, all is not lost.
Anyhow according to my sources Mr %$#!# the XXX Hotel has fallen into the forces of darkness and I am being requested to look for alternative lodgings. On a positive note prices have dropped and I might have to live with the evil and efficiency for a while.
On a biking note three bottom brackets have been discovered to be worn out at all the same time. Is there something to be read into this ??? Or am I neglecting my cycle maintenance ???
** Names and places have been altered to protect myself.
Here things seem to be in the balance as well as my hotel appears to changed ownership in recent days. My friend and hotelier Mr %$#!* has been usurped by his business partner the evil Mr S%#@$ who apparently has a string of convictions going back years and across seas including a spell in Saudi Arabia's worst prison for making illicit alchohol.
Staff at the XXX Hotel are also suffering, with a a watchfull eye kept over all the workers. Things look intolerable with things coming to head at morning coffee time. The usual charade of black coffee arriving in the form of milk tea, sugar added indiscriminately where non was asked for, orders being forgotten or arriving unprompted has been replaced by a chilling efficiency. However, thankfully, this morning a pot of indeterminable tea/coffee arrived suggesting, perhaps, all is not lost.
Anyhow according to my sources Mr %$#!# the XXX Hotel has fallen into the forces of darkness and I am being requested to look for alternative lodgings. On a positive note prices have dropped and I might have to live with the evil and efficiency for a while.
On a biking note three bottom brackets have been discovered to be worn out at all the same time. Is there something to be read into this ??? Or am I neglecting my cycle maintenance ???
** Names and places have been altered to protect myself.
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Bed Tea For The Russians
The half demolished hotel has been busy recently. It started 2 nights ago when I was informed that a group of English tourists where coming to stay for two nights and as they were paying more than me I was to be shifted into the decaying dormitory from my purported "deluxe luxury room". The group arrived at almost midnight and I was awoken to greet the English mob from the bus on their arrival. I objected but the pleading worked and I pottered out into the cold evening air to witness a group of bikini topped and mini skirted blond lasses accompanied by hard looking goatee bearded man. The Russians had arrived. They requested food I told them there was non. They asked for Coffee the manager informed them "only bed tea available".
Two days of bed tea for the Russians then another group arrived. I was informed that all rooms were full and I could sleep in the office. The group arrived; 65 medical students from Nagpur along with an entourage of tour guides teachers and cooks all to be squeezed into half a hotel with only 9 double rooms and a dorm for 6 The teachers objected to the arrangements which meant they would share a room with the cooks; who in turn objected to then being foced to share with the tour guides. As such my room was seized by the militant teachers and I was to be shifted again this time to the staff quarters with the unlucky mans bed being the cleaner who had to kip in the corridor.
Two days of bed tea for the Russians then another group arrived. I was informed that all rooms were full and I could sleep in the office. The group arrived; 65 medical students from Nagpur along with an entourage of tour guides teachers and cooks all to be squeezed into half a hotel with only 9 double rooms and a dorm for 6 The teachers objected to the arrangements which meant they would share a room with the cooks; who in turn objected to then being foced to share with the tour guides. As such my room was seized by the militant teachers and I was to be shifted again this time to the staff quarters with the unlucky mans bed being the cleaner who had to kip in the corridor.
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