Saturday, January 31, 2009

Liquor Rations


Kuttikanam is a strange place these days from years of familiarity as a quite retreat and village idyll it has turned into a cosmopolitan drop in place for the rich and famous. First up this week the sighting in Devas restaurant of a number of 7 feet tall Nigerians stood dangerously close to the fan asking the diminutive Devas for parothas and egg curry. Investigations revealed that they were students representing a college side from Madras in a basketball competition held at Kuttikanam's Marina College. A cash prize was up for grabs and looking at the rest of the teams competing, all comprised of average sized and average ability local Keralan basketball players it looked like the Nigerian students/mercenaries had this one in the hoop as they say.
In February Kuttikanam hosts the kuttikanam open tennis tournament with a field of over 50 expected to battle it out on the dirt court at Misery Mountains Luxury Plantation Resort. All sounds good but they have booked all the rooms up for that weekend leaving me and my next group looking for somewhere else to stay; this led me to my third discovery. All the other hotels in Kuttikanam are booked up for a month as Malaylee (Keralan) film stars and crew descend on the area to make a couple of films. Disaster.
On a less parochial note there is outrage in the Indian Armed Forces this week as liquor rations have been reduced in a cost cutting measure. Higher ranked army personnel have seen their monthly free quota of bottles of liquor (750ml) reduced from 14 to 12, how will they cope? Jawans or squaddies have suffered even more, now having to survive on a miserly 6 bottles of Rum/ Whiskey etc per month. Good news for Colonels, Admirals and the like though as they can continue to avail unlimited supplies of grog from the military supply store so hopefully military capability won,t be disturbed too much.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Wheel Barrow


Time is running away with us, the pound is worth less than an egg curry and appam, Rakesh has gone back to Khatmandu for a month for RandR and I am here back in Kuttikanam riding myself into the ground as the trainees excel at a phenomenal rate.
A year of my time is worth a day in the lives of mountain bike trainees of Sinoj and Chippy. One day they can hardly get their front wheels off the ground the next they are launching off things and doing front wheel wheelies on the lawns of Misery Mountains Plantation Luxury Resort. Very happy.
Pound is in free fall over here, a wheel barrow of the stuff won’t pay for the bus fare to Ellaparra so its fiscal cut backs and the first thing to go is a room with a T.V, beers are being brought in from outside, nights in the Ice Bar in Munnar look like they will be a thing of the past and I am left to squeeze the bottom of a cut price Indian-made bleaching toothpaste in my bathroom without a shower and ponder upon what the future holds.
360rs up in cards against 70-pint a week Sheffield Mike so thats millions of pounds now.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Jillmon



Morning all. I am in the middle of a tour at present and all is going excellent. I have managed to extricate myself from a morning wildlife park boat trip which I have done about ten times and handed over the thankless task too a slightly grumpy looking Rakesh who had to awake at 5.30 a.m this morning to fulfill his duty. Jillmon the driver cum logistics manager has gone as well and woke us all up at 4.15 a.m as his mobile his faulty. Jillmon, who has a look a paunchy Oliver Reed is reveling in his role as logistics manager and has upgraded himself from the rooms designated to drivers to stay in the same room as me and Rakesh. So its three in tiny room most nights, Jillmon snores at an admirable 9.5 on the snoromical scale while Rakesh refuses to sleep without the fan whirling around full blast, both usually head off to beds before. So I am having to become accustomed to stepping into the nightly pitch black, snoring whirlind that has become my sleep. Managed to turn the fan off one night but this had the effect of Jillmons snoring waking up an angry Rakesh who entombed in sleeping bags and blankets fumed that I was trying to kill him by making him too hot.